My dear old friend, Gary Lamb, recently announced that he is going to start a new church in Canton.   This has, of course, stirred up a great deal of debate.  I’ve been silent about all of this up until now even though I’ve been getting a lot of questions from folks from all over the place asking me what I think.  As much as it pains me, I feel that I must now say something publicly.

First, let me say that I think the twitter attacks against Gary are deplorable and they should be stopped.  They are neither constructive nor godly.  Second, I want to stress that I love Gary and under normal circumstances I would move heaven and earth for him.  I’ve known him and believed in him for a very long time.  Long before Ridge Stone/Revolution ever started and long before Gary became a bit of a rock star, I had the pleasure of being Gary’s friend and I hope to continue to be his friend for the rest of his life.

To be clear, the question at hand is really about when someone should get back into ministry after a serious moral failure.  None of this is about forgiveness.  Forgiveness should be offered instantly and I believe that all parties involved are at least trying to allow the forgiveness of God to flow through them to Gary.  The real issue is about restoration, which is separate and distinctive from forgiveness.

I totally and completely believe in the restoration work of God.  God certainly is a restoring god.  Restoration is, however, an interesting thing.  People say that the process is different for every individual and every situation and I agree with that to an extent.  I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to restoration.   Still, it must be said that there are some commonalities when it comes to true Biblical restoration.  First, there must be confession.  Second, there must be repentance. Third, restitution is sometimes required and, lastly, trust must be rebuilt before any area of authority is restored.

Now, it’s clear that once his sin was exposed Gary did confess.  Although it is worth noting that he only confessed after the sin was exposed.  Let’s be honest here.  That’s a slightly different thing that just coming forward and confessing on your own.  Still, Gary did confess via a written letter and I don’t think this point should be argued any further.

The next question is whether or not Gary has truly repented.  Repentance is more than just simple confession.  It’s more than just saying that what you did was wrong.  Repentance is a turning away from the sin.  It’s a fundamental change of heart.  You’ve got to turn away from the things inside of your heart that led you into the sin in the first place.  (Now, this is the hard part to write.)  I’m going to be very honest here and say that I’ve never really felt that Gary truly had a change of heart.  I don’t know that he’s repented.  Even moments after all the allegations were confirmed and Gary was forced to confess, he was talking about pastoring again.  It was as if his sin meant very little to him.  The same pride that got him into his mess was manifesting itself like crazy just two days after the confession.  Later, he refused to follow the path his hand-chosen advisers laid out for him.  He refused to sign any agreement that would have required him to do anything.  He knew that Revolution would take care of his family regardless so he just did what he wanted to do and nothing more.

By his repeated actions, it was clear to me that his goal was to leave his wife, hook up with the “other woman” and then jump back into ministry as soon as possible.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think that Gary had some master plan to pull all this off or anything but certainly, once everything came to light, Gary had a strong sense of what he wanted to do with his “new life.”   From the beginning, he wouldn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fix his marriage.  He just felt it was beyond repair and, frankly, it seemed to me that he was far more interested in remaining with his new girl instead of doing the hard work of repairing his marriage with his wife.  That, to me, is a massive problem and one I can’t just look past.

Those of you that know me know that Amy and I had some major problems in our marriage over a decade ago that just about ripped us apart.  We hated each other and we were at the very brink of throwing it all away.  God, however, had other plans and miraculously restored our marriage and, as a pastor, I’ve also seen God restore countless other marriages.  I, therefore, am a big believer in trying to fix your marriage.  Obviously, not every marriage is or can be restored but many are and I firmly believe every couple should at least try to fix their marriages before walking away.  I think this is especially important when children are involved.  Couples should always give God the opportunity, time and space to do His work in mending the broken relationship.

I’ll also add here that I’ve never seen a marriage restored (or even get moderately better) with an ongoing affair continuing.  The truth is that you simply can’t work on your marriage and have an affair at the same time and expect anything positive to happen.  Whenever Gary would say that it was no use trying to work on his marriage because “it died a long time ago” or whatever, it would seem like a very hollow statement to me because everyone knew he was still seeing the other woman.

The problem with all this, beyond the marriage being tossed aside, is that Gary is still flying by his rules and his rules alone.  Gary says that he’s changed and I have no doubt that that’s true on some level.  You can’t go through something like an affair and public scandal and not have a different perspective on life.  Perhaps he’s gone through some stuff that will make him a better pastor in the long run, I don’t know.  What I do know is that you can’t tell me you’re ready to get back into the ministry when your divorce isn’t final and you’re still seeing the other woman.  You could try to explain it all day long but the end result is that you’re still making decisions based upon what you want and your own rules and not what’s obviously God’s will for you.

Gary says that he’s got friends that agree with him that it’s time for him to get back into the ministry and that he should do it in Canton.  I truthfully can’t imagine any sane person with an ounce of common sense that would honestly give that advice.  When I put it in the form of advice, it almost sounds comical…

Hey, listen, I know that you destroyed your marriage and almost destroyed a thriving church.  I know that you broke every pledge you’d made up to that point.  I know that you refused to listen to your advisers.  I know that you are living with your new girl even though your divorce isn’t final.  I know that it’s only been 8 months but I really think you ought to jump back into the ministry.  It would also be great if you could do it in the same town.

Again, I seriously cannot imagine who on earth would think this is a good idea.

If Gary does indeed have new advisers in his life that are seriously suggesting that this is a good idea then I would have to question their sanity or motives.  Regardless, something’s not right.  I fear that Gary has surrounded himself with people that either don’t truly understand the situation or  just want to ingratiate themselves in some way.

Now, the reality is that at the end of the day, Gary is accountable to his creator not to me.  It doesn’t matter whether or not I think he’s repentant.  Only God truly knows and some day Gary will give an account to Him about all this.

Unfortunately, as much as it pains me to say, I will not be supporting Gary in his questionable efforts to start a church in the same city where he almost destroyed one.  I will not support his efforts to jump back into the ministry with a marriage in shambles and another woman on the side.  I will not support my dear friend that I love because it’s just not right.  It’s not the right time.  It’s not the right move and it’s not the right motive.

Even if the divorce is finalized soon (and it may have been finalized yesterday for all I know) I still don’t believe Gary is in a place where he should be leading others.  It’s just too early.  You can’t break your pledges and oaths and promises to God, your wife, your family, your friends, your staff and your church and then turn around less than a year later and tell me your ready to lead again, especially when you’ve refused to participate in any type of real restoration program with any sort of oversight from a reputable group.  Running away from your hand-picked board of advisers to find a group of folks that tells you what you want to hear is not a restoration process.  It’s an I’ll-do-whatever-I-want process and it doesn’t speak well about your readiness to jump back into ministry.

Gary knows that I love him but disagree with his decision to start a church in Canton at this time.  I say again, I love the man and I look forward to a day when God really does call him back into the ministry.  When that happens, I’ll be first in line to offer my support.  Until then, I pray that Gary would stop this insane plan.  I also pray that our gracious heavenly Father will minister to Gary in a deep, refreshing, restoring way for an extended period of time to truly prepare him for the day that he is called to step back into a leadership role in a church.

You may wonder why I decided to blog about this now.   Beyond the questions I’m getting, I’m just really concerned.  I’m concerned about Gary.  I’m concerned about Gary hurting himself and other people again.  I’m concerned about the people that might follow him.  I’m concerned about the body of Christ as a whole.  I also feel that Gary is getting a lot of support from people that don’t know or understand the situation at all or, at the very least, don’t understand the difference between forgiveness and restoration.

I want to stress that I don’t want to hurt Gary or damage his reputation in any way.  At the same time, I can promise you that this whole situation is a huge mess that should not be underestimated.  The truth is that Gary does need your love and support right now but not your empowerment and encouragement to start a new church.

Dr. David Cooper was my pastor in Athens, Georgia for a few years.  He’s a great leader and a great man.  He’s also a no-nonsense kind of pastor.  I told him at one point that I was feeling called to start a church and he gave me a bit of advice.  He said, “Don’t start one unless you’re certain God’s leading you to do it because whether God’s in it or not people will follow you if you start leading and those people will get hurt if God’s not in it.”  I never forgot that and I think it’s something Gary, and those that are thinking about following him, should consider.


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