When You’re Grieving

The night my father died a bunch of family members were gathered together at the hospital. Even though we sort of knew what was coming nothing can ever really prepare you for a moment like that.

When he finally breathed his last breath we all said our goodbyes to him and then we left the ICU room. Everyone else headed to the waiting room to mourn together. I headed to a small conference room that was unlocked. I wanted to be alone.

I felt bad that I wanted to be alone at that moment but it felt almost involuntary. Everything in me just wanted to grieve alone. Later I learned that my father did the same thing when his mother died many years ago so perhaps it’s genetic.

All I know for sure is that there’s no one right way to mourn. When faced with the big losses in life some want to process it by talking with others. Some, like me, must process alone until they’re ready to discuss it much later.

I don’t think it’s wise or healthy to grieve alone indefinitely but the timing of when to talk is different for everyone. You should talk when you feel like talking and it’s okay if it may take a while to get to that point.

Of course, talking to God while you’re hurting or confused is always a great idea. God understands better than anyone else what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. In fact, He knows what’s going on inside of you better than you do yourself!

It should also be said that as wonderful as God is, you sometimes need to talk to a person that can just give you a hug. Don’t feel that the goal is to be so spiritual that you don’t need people. That’s nonsense and certainly not what the Bible says. Remember God said of Adam that it was not good for him to live alone even though Adam had a perfect relationship with God at the time.

If you’re grieving right now, don’t feel pressured to act in any way in particular. Just be yourself and lean on the Lord. He will help you walk through the whole process.

And, it’s important to remember that it is indeed a process. That pain will not disappear in a moment but God will gently lead your forward and help you to start living again. He’ll also bring people around at just the right time.

Remember, lean on the Lord. He will lead the way and He will never leave your side.

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