What’s the last thing you said to your spouse?  What’s the last thing you said about your spouse to your spouse?

Today, most married couples are incredibly busy. In fact, they’re so busy it’s all too easy to allow their conversations to slip into survival mode — where the topics trend towards task assignments and calendar coordination.

In the healthiest marriages, however, each spouse always remembers that conversations with their betrothed are investments in the quality of the union.

Every interaction you have with your spouse doesn’t have to be a deep conversation – that would be unrealistic – but you should be having meaningful interactions every day.

In fact, there are five things you need to be communicating to your spouse regularly.

 

1.  I Love You!

You just can’t say this enough.

Don’t assume your spouse knows this or that it’s just understood. You must make the effort to communicate this verbally, and other ways, every day.

If your love for your spouse is communicated regularly and sincerely, a security in the relationship will develop that will open the doors to all sorts of greater intimacy and joy.

 

2.  You’re Awesome!

You should admire your spouse and your spouse should know it.

Obviously, there are no perfect spouses in the world but every spouse does have great qualities and traits. (You wouldn’t have married them otherwise.)

One of your jobs as a spouse is to find and focus on those great qualities, and think about ways to highlight and underscore those as you go through life together.

[box]TIP: Don’t just do this privately. Also, don’t do this only publicly either. Both extremes will derail your intentions. Find a healthy balance between public and private praise of your spouse.[/box]

 

3.  You Can Do It!

You know the challenges your spouse faces better than anyone else. You know what scares them and what intimidates them.

Beyond that, you know the things they face that might seem minor to others but are actually huge to them.

Work diligently to communicate your confidence in them and their ability to overcome these challenges.

[box]IMPORTANT:  Be sure to tell them that you will still be there, regardless of the outcome, to cheer them on another day. It’s important to know that the love of our spouses isn’t based on our ability to perform.[/box]

 

4.  I Respect and Appreciate You!

You don’t have to use those exact words but you need to be telling your spouse that you see and appreciate all they do.

Others might not notice how hard your spouse works or how faithful they are to you but you should.

You should be the greatest “fan” your spouse has and they should know it.

 

5.  Let’s Get It On!

Every spouse desires to be wanted. From light affection to heavy flirtation, expressing a desire for your spouse is healthy and enriching for any marriage.

This isn’t about coming on too strong but more about consistently reminding your spouse that you desire to be with them.

 

Think I missed something? Share your thoughts below.